Guest: Susan Leahy
“Fear tricks us into living a boring life.” – Donald Miller
No one really knows what perfection looks or feels like. In a world of imperfect humans, there’s no real standard to base perfection on. Yet people squander precious resources to try and achieve it. Spending time and energy on adjustments, tweaks, comparisons, alternate choices, second opinions, MORE research, obsessing over “what if’s” and potential screw ups. Even sabotaging “achieved perfection” with overcorrection. Oops.
The pursuit of perfection alone bleeds the life out of even the most rewarding moments. All to chase an elusive dragon. A recipe for disappointment and true madness.
There’s something to be said about the beauty in imperfection. In the invaluable lessons that mistakes teach you. In the fun you had while making those mistakes. In freeing yourself from the shackles of your insecurities, uncertainties, and fears. In not giving a crap.
Why? For what? What or who is worth suppressing that playful and rebellious side of you? Is it your fear of what others might think of you? In this episode, Brad refers to it as the “need-to-be-liked” dragon. In that case, identify your target audience and who you’re trying to attract…quick-to-judge uptight perfectionists? Or open-minded people that respect authenticity? Then consider imperfection as a perfect tool to thin the herd.
The longer you spend perfecting, the longer you keep your audience from hearing a message they’re thirsty to hear. Don’t leave them hanging. Just jump.
The Face Your Dragon podcast opens up the concept that what you are most afraid of and most resisting are the very things that will set you free.
Embrace the Experience of Darkness and Challenge
Challenges arise with or without permission. The only true control you have is how you choose to receive them. Resistance and self-victimization or acceptance and gratitude. One leads to suffering and the other, growth. Acceptance is harder to practice but —once embraced — can be a guiding light during your darkest moments. “Even when you’re facing your dragons, you still get to have a little bit of fun,” said Susan Leahy, this episode’s guest.
Susan’s been in the practice of finding fun her entire life. Not because her circumstances have been fun — because she’s refused to let her dragons eclipse her happiness. Susan shares how she’s learned to embrace all experiences including adapting to a major family transition and coping with the loss of her mother. She explains how the dragon of “not knowing how” paralyzes progress and why knowing your “what” is all you need to get through darkness.
About: Susan is a certified speaking professional, confidence coach, and creator of The Confident Woman Program that connects women to their confidence while elevating the condition of women in underdeveloped countries. She’s the co-founder of Group to TEAM Leadership Solutions with former Face Your Dragon podcast guest Freeman Michaels, a training & consulting organization that supports organizations to build a culture of TEAM by empowering the individual.
- “Happy wife, happy life” is an inside job
- The powerful role women play in the home and why their emotion is a strength
- The rule Susan created that’s helped help her marriage last 15 years and be fun and happy
- Why it’s easy to energetically set your partner up for failure
- Integrated feminine vs. disintegrated feminine and how they both feel
- Susan’s mantra and how it helps her take personal ownership of her happiness
- The surrounding effects of making your personal happiness a commitment
- Why people want to turn your happiness off and how to respond
- Why it takes a strong person to commit to their happiness
- The importance of embracing and integrating negative feelings and why to “love it all”Susan’s massive family transition and how she explained her sadness to her children
- Honoring your sadness and the role it plays in being authentically happy
- How jumping without a net and life transitions are perfect tools for growth
- Making space for gratitude in marriage
- Why embracing all experience is crucial to living a truly happy life
- The need for always knowing the “how” and why it dampens your experiences
- Susan’s “STAY” model and how it gets you out of fight or flight mode
- The highest form of honoring another human being
- What paralyzes you during fight or flight and how to leverage it to find creativity
- Susan’s challenge transitioning from an extrovert to an introvert and how she embraced it to benefit
- Brad’s transition to isolation and how he used discomfort to create focus and growth
- Making choices from an empowered space vs. feeling victimized by forceful choice
- Susan’s emotional journey through her mother’s death and learning from mortality
- How the Confident Woman Program helps women to enroll into their own conversation of confidence and adds to the quality of life
- Why a confident woman embraces all sides of her experience
- The women’s movement: is it misguided?
- Integrated masculine + integrated feminine = Confident woman
- How Susan and Freeman Michaels use collaboration in group to team trainings
- Why to practice saying “yes” to your partner
- “Your joy is your fault.”
- Learn the one rule Susan Leahy created that’s helped make her 15-year marriage fun and happy
- Discover why it takes a strong person to commit to their happiness
- Understand what paralyzes you during fight or flight and how to leverage it to find creativity
- Listen in as this episode illuminates the path to awareness and provides valuable guidance on how to find, face, and ride your dragon.
Here’s the thing.
1 of the 5 dragons is chaining you down from taking the leap and breaking free.